I do not care what your family situation is: it is not okay to tell kids that the parental figure in their life is «not their real mom» or «not their real dad.» We know that that’s not okay when a kid is adopted, but what about when they’re adopted by family members, like an aunt or an uncle? Family members can have different roles than what society expects them to have. Babies can be uncles if grandparents have babies after their kids. Older siblings can become parents to their younger siblings if their mom or dad are not fit to do so. Familial roles can be incredibly fluid, and just because society prescribes the nuclear family model of one mom and one dad as the end-all be-all, it does not mean that you shouldn’t step up where you’re needed and fill familial roles appropriate for your family’s unique situation.