Do spiders come out in the spring? I genuinely don’t know, but what I do know is that I’ve had a lot of unwanted visitors in my apartment lately. They just keep appearing out of nowhere. I was at my friend’s this past weekend, and he had a whole family of spiders living in the corner of his kitchen ceiling. Like — rent-free?!? At least it inspired to write this piece. 

I am one of those stereotypical girls who is terrified of them. No matter how much I try to be cool, I can’t help my gut reaction. I won’t even k*ll them. Not because I want them to live or whatever, but because you will not catch me putting my hand that close to one. I’ve had enough jump scares trying to smoosh one with a tissue, only to miss and have it fall, vanish, and haunt my dreams for the next 5-7 business days. I’d much rather let them be. I prefer the unspoken treaty method: you don’t bother me and I won’t bother you. (Mostly because I can’t reach you anyway.)