The idea of an auction is enticing. They lure you in with the promise of getting something for a steal, and then boom, you’re sitting there in a bidding war with someone you don’t know just because you don’t like losing. You’re wildly overbidding a chest of drawers you didn’t even want because the guy bidding against you has a punchable face. Is this relatable to anyone? 

There are a bunch of weird idiosyncrasies about auctions that we just take for granted. Why does the auctioneer have to talk so fast? Are they afraid that if they stop, we’ll think too hard and retract our bid? And why is it always a guy with a mustache? And why is he always speaking gibberish? Also, what’s the deal with those little paper sign things that we’re supposed to raise? Who invented those? I do love it when they say «going, going, gone.» There is a real sense of satisfaction in that.