Have you ever heard the term ‘toxic girlfriend’? It is way more common than you would have imagined.

Being called a toxic girlfriend shouldn’t be something to be proud of, but some girls are. On the internet, it has become quite common for girls to call themselves or their relationship toxic. It is not always because they are actually toxic. Sometimes it’s just to laugh about the weird behavior that some people may have during relationships. Feeling jealous or protective about your special someone is not weird and is not bad either; it’s human. But to be overprotective and controlling is another level; that can actually be dangerous. We all have our issues, and that doesn’t mean we are bad people. Checking the person you are dating’s Instagram followers to see what girls they followed is not a crazy person’s behavior. It can happen. But to do it every day and forbid the other person to follow people is really not okay. 

If you think about it, this kind of behavior is not only popular on the internet. A lot of TV shows and movies also portray characters that act like this. The first one that comes to mind is Trixie from The Fairly OddParents, in that episode when Timmy Turner wishes for the two of them to be the only people on Earth. A more recent example is Nikki from the movie Obsession, who becomes crazy in love with Bear after he wishes for her to love her more than anyone in the world. Are you following where I’m going with this? The toxic girlfriend has been portrayed as the fantasy of the protagonist man. They wish to be loved so much, only to discover that wishing it wasn’t as good as it sounded. It’s actually a nightmare because now you have a crazy, toxic girlfriend who doesn’t leave you alone for two seconds. So is it really a concept girls are forcing on themselves to be cool and edgy? Or is it an idea that was created by the media to make men feel more loved and for women to look crazy? 

I may be reading too much into it, but it is important to differentiate between a one-time thing that you know is wrong but happened out of insecurity and curiosity, and a habit or everyday attitude that is damaging the other person in the relationship and creating a toxic and unhealthy environment. To put it in simpler words, going through someone’s phone is not right, but if you do it one time, feel ashamed, and apologize to the other person for doing it, that’s one thing. It’s not so bad; it’s understandable, and it’s just a human error. Now, going through someone’s phone every time you can without feeling guilty about it, or seeing the problem in that, is dangerous. That is toxic, and I really hope that if you are in that situation, you snap out of it. You can be insecure and do something dumb, but it’s not okay to accept bad behavior and justify it with insecurities.