If you’re not keeping up with Twitter, then you’re missing out on a lot. There are a lot of cultural touchdowns that seem to only happen on that particular website. If you’re out of touch with it for even just a little bit, then getting back into it is almost impossible. The jokes have gone so far that you’ve missed out on the whole thing. There are layers of jokes that you will just never understand without years of having been on Twitter. And you might think that’s for the best. Maybe you’re fine to miss out on some extremely online jokes in order to have your sanity about you. But you’d be mistaken. It’s all worth it. Who needs a clear mind and a positive worldview anyway? Where has that gotten anyone? But for real, you’re either an online demon or an offline saint, and it’s hard to become one if you’re the other. If you’re here, you’re probably an online demon, and we welcome you with open arms. You’re home here. We’re the folks who have stuck it out through thick and thin. Maybe we got online back when it still seemed promising and fun, and now it’s too late. 

We’ve already sold our souls to our internet providers, and there is nothing we can do to get them back. But we kind of like wallowing in the muck of online life. It’s more fun down here. Sure, it’s messy and a little bit chaotic, but it’s our chaos. And we’re in it for life.