A tweet a day keeps the coherent thoughts at bay. Actually, maybe try 2000 tweets a day and you’ll really be shoveling the meat right out of your subconscious. Doomscrolling is a nationally recognized pastime, but what about numbscrolling? When you scroll with your eyes glazed over and your thumb moving automatically just to avoid having a meaningful thought? Just to block out anything real that might try to creep in there? That’s my nightly routine. 

Twitter is a great place to get your kicks online, but you often have to dig through a whole mess of… mess just to get some interesting takes. Luckily, we’ve done the work for you. We’ve harvested the best tweets of the week and put ‘em all in one place for your viewing pleasure. So feel free to get comfortable, turn off your brain, and let your thumb do the thinking.