Would you tolerate your wealthy friend complaining about money?

Complaining about money is a hallmark of friendship, especially when you’re young. You’re in it together, and you have a shared struggle. Rent is always too high, and pay is always too low. You find catharsis in working through it together, and you know you’re in the same boat. But you’re not always in the same boat. Even if you have the same job as someone and therefore make the same amount, you might have radically different relationships to money. Maybe one of you has a lot of family responsibilities and is thus in debt, having to hustle to make ends meet. The other one of you grew up with money and knows they always have that to fall back on. You might be earning the same amount, but it doesn’t mean the same thing to you. 

This can mean trouble when you start to bump up against one another. Money is an emotional subject, and it can bring out the worst in us. When people with privilege flaunt their wealth, it’s easy to get upset. They don’t know how they’re coming across, and those around them feel like they’re being condescended to. But even worse than flaunting is pretending to have the same struggles. If you grew up wealthy and still have access to that money, no matter how much you’re trying to make it on your own, you don’t have the same perspective as someone who is starting from scratch.