Every hooman wishes they could talk to their pet. Although in our lonely moments, most of us talk to our cats and dogs anyways, our pets have pretty much no idea what we’re talking about and blissfully stare into space until they hear their name or the word ‘treat’. But cat owners, what if our cats could actually understand what we were saying? If your kitten could 100% understand your language for a minute or two, what would you tell them? 

Would you tell them that they’re glorious and your best friend and that you love them with all your heart? Or would you suggest they make their way to the kitchen tiles the next time they feel a puke coming on? Most cat owners would agree that we are torn between loving our cats unconditionally and secretly hating them for their tomfoolery, but imagine the things we could communicate if we could speak their language. Redditors weigh in on the spiciest and most wholesome messages that they’d pass along to their cat.