Confession time: Back when I was in college, I was proud that all my friends were dudes. It sort of felt like I’d won their acceptance, and they liked me more than the other women who lived in our co-ed dorm. The reality is that we just became friends because I had developed a nasty habit of chain smoking outside where many of the international residents smoked all day, and had social anxiety that stopped me from making meaningful friendships with women. 

Thankfully, this embarrassing phase didn’t last very long, and I grew to understand how damaging (yet common) the «not like other girls» vibe really is. The comparison is an obvious swipe at women who don’t share the same interests or priorities, and for some people who I’d gone to school with, it was the product of resentment that «basic» women got attention, while «quirky» intellectual types with an affinity for obscure music were pretty much left alone. 

This backward way of thinking reeks of internalized misogyny – and is all over the freaking internet. Especially TikTok. Constantly comparing oneself to others isn’t a way to make people appreciate you, but it’s a surefire way to reveal your deepest insecurities. And while we feel sorry for people who haven’t figured that out, their cringeposts are endlessly entertaining cautionary tales.