They need to get on the same page with their finances.

It is incredibly helpful for couples to combine their finances. For one, it helps them be more honest about their financial decisions. It’s not that most married couples are dishonest about their spending. It’s just that if you don’t have a joint account, it can be easy to tell your partner exactly how you spent your money, which makes it easier for them to make assumptions. If you can see that your husband is spending hundreds of dollars on lottery tickets every week, you will know he’s being a hypocrite when he criticizes you for spending $50 on your nails every month. If you both put your direct deposits into one bank account, it will be much easier to budget so neither of you wastes money on things you don’t need. That way, you keep yourselves accountable. 

It’s also better to think of your salaries as «our money» rather than «his money and her money.» You shouldn’t have to Venmo your husband for half of the mortgage, because that makes you feel more like roommates than actual life partners. Your value shouldn’t boil down to exactly what percentage of the bills you’re paying. Even if your salary is less than your partner’s, you are still contributing value to the household. The husband in this story doesn’t realize that his wife can’t contribute as much to the mortgage as he can, and that doesn’t make her any less valuable.