There are picky eaters, and there’s this person, who treats a home-cooked meal like a crime scene they need to stage convincingly. Cut the food, move it around, add a little sauce smear here and there for realism, and boom, congratulations, you’ve created the culinary equivalent of a ransom note. Nobody’s buying it, but everyone’s too polite to say anything

Instead of just saying «I’m not hungry,» our guy would rather orchestrate an entire fake-eating charade worthy of Broadway? Which is like faking a phone call to escape a bad date, except he’s not dating his girlfriend’s mom and also not paying attention to or paying for the steaks that are at stake.