He knew his wife had her heart set on naming their newborn daughter after his late sister, but when he saw the pain in his mother’s eyes when he mentioned their idea, he couldn’t go through with it.

There comes a time in every man’s life when he must choose between his wife’s desires and his mother’s. While many wives will argue that the choice is obvious, not every family disagreement is so cut-and-dry. Right and wrong are never as black-and-white as we hope they would be, and oftentimes the right decision is hidden in tones of grey, but when the downturned face of a mourning mother comes into play, what’s a son supposed to do? 

In every marriage, you’re supposed to make decisions together, as a unit, especially when it comes to choosing the name of your future child. This should always be a yes-yes decision between couples, because if one spouse is hesitant or dislikes the name, they’re going to resent the other for the rest of their child’s life, which is ideally longer than theirs. But not every parent has that luxury, and the grandma in this next story, who had lost her own daughter years prior, just wasn’t comfortable with her new granddaughter assuming the name. Not only was it too much pressure for the wee tot, but the pain it caused in her heart to hear the name, even just in the kitchen, casually conversing with her son, was almost too much to bear. 

Likewise, in my adult years, I’ve noticed moments of sorrow in my own parents’ eyes. As a kid, you’re more or less trained to think that your parents are superheroes, immune to the woes and the weaknesses of humanity. Somehow, parents are stronger than their kids in every way, until grown children look back and realize that they were just better at hiding it back then. Once you’ve lived a life of your own, experiencing all of the joys and also the wretchedness of the human experience, parents become more than just the superhero guardians of your youth: They become human. 

Although it’s a convoluted definition, to be «human» is to experience the full spectrum of emotions, particularly empathy. Those who feel no empathy for the people around them, especially their loved ones, have missed the plot and need to do some soul searching to get back in touch with their humanity. Even if you’re adamant about naming your newborn daughter by a particular name, ignoring the fact that this name upsets your mother-in-law, the grandmother to your children, is a bit heartless. Luckily for the granny in this next story, her son realized just in time that the name was too powerful to put on their girl’s birth certificate. 

Imbibing their newborn with the weight of a family name, especially one with so much emotion attached to it, was not only setting the daughter up for a lifetime of intensity, but it would inevitably be a painful reminder for a grandma who once loved her daughter in just the same way. A parent’s love never wanes, even months, years, and decades after their child is gone. More enduring than a mother’s love is the appreciation she’ll have for her son when he backs her up, even when it rocks the boat at home with his wife. 

He didn’t choose his mother’s wishes over his wife’s; this father-to-be just realized that they were so blinded by baby name books and prenatal yoga classes that they forgot to consider their child’s effect on the whole family. Instead of tainting his late sister’s name, he chose to bring a new light into this world by a new name that would create her own legacy and her own humanity. 

He just has to survive sleeping on the couch for a little bit longer until his wife feels the same way…