It seems that every year when the first leaves fall from the trees and the mornings get crisp again, there is a riff that opens up in the world. A green, gold, and red vacuum that sucks in any bystanders into the vortex of good cheer, sugary treats, and late stage capitalism. The more the Christmas vortex consumes, the larger it becomes, eventually consuming everything in its path until it’s banished once again, as it is every year, on December 26th. 

Some people, who await the Christmas season every year, are so ready to be overwhelmed with holiday merriment that they can’t control themselves anymore. These select individuals keep pushing the season farther and farther up the calendar, setting up decorations as early as November 1, forgetting that there are other holidays between Halloween and Christmas. Holiday obsessed people can’t seem to get enough of the holiday season and simply can’t wait a second longer to start singing Michael Buble covers and frosting sugar cookies.