Deciding who gets a plus one and who doesn’t is a dangerous game. It’s pretty common to roll your eyes at a buddy who wants to bring the girl he’s been dating for 3 weeks to your wedding that you’ve been planning for two years. If they break up a month later, then your friend will be haunted by the situationship in all of their memories of their dearest friend’s wedding. 

On the other hand, it’s really upsetting for your friends and family to not consider your partner a valid plus one just because you aren’t married yet. It’s one thing if it’s your boyfriend of a year, but when you’ve been together for 3 or 4 years and are still not getting a plus one, it can feel pretty insulting. Who wants to sit at that weird singles table with the very elderly guests and the young kids?