Look, I’m a vinyl collector and never played Nintendo, so you can’t say I’m biased here, BUT, funny thing is, I am. Because first of all, it’s a Taylor Swift record, which is disgusting, it’s heart-shaped, which is distasteful, and this woman doesn’t own a record player, which is just insulting. And ALL of this comes before her hypocritical behavior towards her boyfriend’s hobbies so just maybe consider putting your heart-shaped record where your heart should be, and start developing some of the obsession you have for generic pop music for your partner.

Mind-blowing idea, I know

But what we really need to talk about is the double standard Olympics here, an event where one partner gets to spend $1,500 on a piece of plastic shaped like a heart that will never touch a turntable, while the other gets treated like he robbed a bank for buying a $760 console he’ll actually use every single day. Nobody’s giving out medals here, but if they were, she’d be taking gold in Hypocrisy while lapping him twice