Whoever said that everything in the world is about sex might have been exaggerating, but only a little. Horny is one of the most powerful emotions out there, and it’s made a lot of us do things we’re not proud of occasionally. From laughing at unfunny jokes to clumsily trying to swap nudes, people are never more embarrassing than when they are trying to bone. Many of us would like to think of ourselves as principled individuals, yet it’s all too easy to throw that away when someone attractive and available comes along. 

While we may never fully get over those moments where we wonder what the hell we were thinking, there’s now a meme to ease the shame that can surround attempting to get laid. Even better, it openly celebrates the process. A TikTok trend that has transformed into a screenshot phenomenon, the lustful attention seekers of the internet have banded together to reveal their secrets of seduction in a simple formula. If you’re looking to attract men, it’s time to start professing your love for misunderstood filmbro movies while slipping in a reference to your cup size. Meanwhile, those looking to attract the female gaze had better start getting super angry about the wage gap — but not without mentioning that they’re tall as well. Long story short, these examples provide an idiot’s guide to the heterosexual dating agenda (with a few examples for other sexualities sprinkled here and there).

For every guy who mourned when saying «I’m 6’2, because apparently that matters» on Tinder went from pick up line to punchline, and every woman who cussed out Rosamund Pike for the Cool Girl monologue in Gone Girl: this meme is for you. Don’t let the naysayers get you down, because you know exactly how to get your ideal type out of the DMs and into your bed.