Is it okay to break a promise just because it’s «for the family»?

This is a complicated situation to be in. It’s essentially having to choose between your own family and your husband. And the tension that is created in this argument is very uncomfortable. Of course, I understand the position of the husband. He doesn’t like the style of vacation his wife’s family takes, and it’s fine if he just wants to skip it.

Honestly, the response he has is reasonable, and I understand it: he’ll only go for two nights and leave her with the kids if they want to stay. Sounds fair to me. I think the wife is being unreasonable. She’s going to have the best of both worlds, and I don’t think she has to take that position in which she gets mad and forces the husband to stay for the whole week. 

This story reflects exactly how every family has different types of vacation styles. There are some people who like to get up as early as possible and do fun activities the whole day, while others prefer to rest and just move when they want to. All of this will sometimes turn into a conflicted situation when you get married, and you have to make it work.

I also think this situation goes beyond the vacation itself. If they had never discussed it before, I could understand why the wife assumed everyone would just go along with it. But according to the story, they had already sat down together and agreed that this particular trip no longer worked for their family. That’s why I understand why the husband feels betrayed. 

It isn’t about the beach or even the week away: it’s about feeling like a decision they made together was later overturned without his input. Hopefully, once emotions settle, they can have an honest conversation and figure out a vacation that makes everyone feel heard instead of forcing one person to sacrifice their own time off.