I’ve never considered owning a bird as a pet. For one, it seems pretty unethical to coop ‘em up in a human home. But they’re also a huge commitment. The kinds of birds people normally keep as pets (parrots, cockatiels, etc) live for a very, very long time. African Grey parrots live an average of 60 years in captivity. But even that’s nothing compared to the oldest confirmed bird in the United States. That honor belongs to «Cookie,» a Pink Cockatoo that lived to the ripe old age of 83. That’s longer than most humans live. 

In a viral video shared by @doesthisbotheryou (we’re still looking for the owner), we are met with another unfortunate symptom of owning one of these beautiful birds: their ability to speak. It’s all well and good when a parrot says «Polly want a cracker?» or greets you, but when they start trying to convince you that they’re not going to hurt you, things get a little bit creepier. Such is the case with this bird, who we believe is actually named Barley. It seems they have a bad habit of biting toes, and are willing to do anything to get a taste of their owner’s. The viral video stunned TikTokers with its creepiness, drawing comparisons to gaslighting ex-boyfriends. 

For more hard-hitting bird content, check out these memes.