I have never been a milk girl. I come from a family of milkaholics, and I just don’t fit in there. My parents have 3-4 gallons of milk in their fridge at any given time, and they will finish all of it without a drop getting spoiled. I will buy a tiny carton of milk solely for macaroni and cheese purposes, and I can’t even finish that.

That is to say, I’m not particularly invested in the milk-centric culture war presently playing out in the minds of delusional people. If you’re not familiar, here’s a quick rundown; Dairy milk dudes are fearful that soy milk and other milk substitutes are feminizing men. This is half driven by an earnest belief that soy milk carries the hormone estrogen (it doesn’t) and half driven by the stereotype that weak men are the only ones drinking these milk substitutes. This strange set of beliefs sets the stage for this Reddit story, where a milk-pilled manly man can’t keep his mouth shut about other people’s coffee orders, and pays the price for it.