Would you let your friend’s significant other come to your birthday dinner? 

Your birthday dinner is your time to do what you’d like to do, no matter what. You don’t have to invite the people you don’t want to invite, and you don’t need to make any compromises for your friends. You can do that every other day of the year, but you don’t have to on your birthday. If anyone makes you feel bad about that, then that’s on them. But sometimes things come up, and you have to unexpectedly pivot from your original plan. Sometimes life happens. But you also have the ability to draw a line in the sand when you’d like to, and keep your boundaries firm. You certainly don’t have to invite your friend’s significant other. 

There are a lot of different perspectives about whether or not you should bring your partner to events with your friends. It depends on the occasion. If you’re constantly bringing your boyfriend along, unannounced, then your friends might get pretty tired of that. They signed up to be your friend, not to entertain someone they probably don’t know that well. If you’re hanging out in a big group, though, that might be a good opportunity to get to know your friend’s significant other. Your birthday, though, is not a time when you have to make these sorts of concessions, especially if they’re unannounced.