For many people, food is the only thing that brings them pleasure. That faction of human beings includes me. While I’m eating lunch, I’m thinking about what’s for dinner. I spend hours walking through supermarket aisles, definitely not under the influence of a smokeable plant, dreaming about the meals I can make with all the beautiful and fresh ingredients. Sadly, inflation has drastically changed my grocery-buying abilities. Come on, people. Blueberries should not cost $9.99. The sheer cost of all my favorite foods has led me to eat scrambled eggs, boring salads, and rice and beans every damn day. 

These dull and repetitive meals have led me to desperate measures of vicarious enjoyment: staring at food porn on Instagram as my stomach grumbles and I resist opening up that Uber Eats app. It’s a weird sort of torture, but if I close my eyes a little and think about the food, it’s almost like I’m eating it. Sometimes this backfires, leaving me resentful. And then all I have to do is look at the poorly lit pics on r/shittyfoodporn or these insane photoshopped memes that dream up foods that are bizarre or absolutely should not exist. With some memes sprinkled in for good measure.