When a parent gets into a relationship with somebody other than the person they had children with, their biggest concerns often revolve around kids, stepparents, and stepsiblings all getting along. There are plenty of blended families out there where the blending hasn’t worked so well, causing a lot of drama, hurt feelings, and extensive therapy bills—arguably, those who manage to integrate without a hitch should consider themselves blessed.

No matter what the age of the children involved, it is important to make them feel like a welcome part of the family. The role of a stepparent may differ from that of one who has been there from birth, but it is nonetheless vital that the right relationship dynamic is established for everybody involved. As a parent marrying somebody new, it’s also important to be alert about that partner. Sometimes, unexpected and unpleasant traits can pop up within the family dynamic.