If you spend much of your day checking up and contributing to social media, chances are you have a solid case of internet brain. There is only so much discourse that a person can absorb without having their sanity chipped away, bit by bit, until you can’t have an in-person conversation without wishing you could respond with a reaction image, or reference some dumb old tweet.

To be terminally online is an irreversible curse, but we may as well try and find the humor in it now that we’re here. This is the stance that has been taken by @karuneshiie, who requested her viewers comment some of the worst examples of things they had seen people say that were obviously the consequence of spending too much time on the internet. The result was a collection of classic quotes that make us question how in the world somebody came to think that this is how they should communicate. The urge to touch grass has never been more important.