The motivation to lose weight can’t come from somebody else; it has to come from within. It can be frustrating to know that you’re overweight and to be constantly reminded of it by the people around you. They act as if you don’t know that you’re overweight like you don’t feel the social and somatic consequences of this situation every time you leave your house. Skinny people can act like they’re the first people in the world who ever thought about you losing weight, and they impart this insight as if it’s of international import. This kind of advice communicates that they see you as fat first and as a person second. 

There can be a kinder, gentler way to encourage weight loss, especially if one has expressed interest in doing so, but humiliating them on their special day is not one of those ways. One teenage girl recently learned how far her aunt would go to bug her about her weight.