Parents love to document every milestone their kid reaches. A child’s first steps, first word, and the first day of school are all recorded carefully by their mom and dad so they can relive that memory for years to come. However, the most memorable moments of a kid’s life usually happen when the cameras aren’t around. When I was a kid, I somehow got my parents to give myself and my sister the s*x talk by asking endless questions about the biology of conjoined twins. There might not be a scrapbook or Facebook post to commemorate that milestone, but it’s forever etched into our family’s minds. 

The things kids say are often much more compelling than the milestones they hit. Who cares if a baby can’t walk yet? They say «ba ba ba» so much it sounds like they’re about to break out into The Beach Boys at any second. Kids say the darndest things, and that’s why it’s fun to peruse parenting tweets to see what the children of the world are talking about.