If love were a motorcycle, a third wheel would add stability. But romance isn’t a bike and life is definitely not the open road.

Five years in, and this man thinks he’s cracked the code: surprise his wife with the kind of trip Instagram would call «relationship goals,» complete with private villa, nowhere to hide from each other, not even a minibar out of arm’s reach. But marriage is nothing if not a series of curveballs delivered at the exact moment you’re sure you’ve finally figured it out.