Remember kids, violence is never the answer. Unless you’re a movie critic, of course, in which case you’re basically obligated to replace your keyboard with a hatchet and destroy anything that threatens to spark joy in a mass audience.

To the delight of its many absurdly dedicated fans, today marks twenty years since the release of the first film in the beloved Shrek franchise — but not everyone was happy to celebrate the milestone. Leading the condemnation was a piece in The Guardian, accusing the movie of being crass and outdated. In it, writer Scott Tobias takes offence at everything from its celebrity cast to the fact that the main character flushes after he poops. 

Shrek is one of the defining movies of the early 2000s, one that won an Oscar for its huge contribution to film. Shrek is one of the few cultural artefacts to unites the age groups, as the war between Gen Z and Millennials rages on. Most important of all, Shrek’s cultural impact has been so powerful it has gained a formidable second life as a meme that rivals any animated movie produced before or since.  In short, no media outlet would get away with publishing this type of slander without an almighty pile on. 

Sure enough, a lot of people have reacted with horror at this attempt to smear Shrek’s good name. While a few have quietly agreed with the main points the article makes, many others have generated enough outrage to power an outrage factory for quite some time. In the words of the legendary green ogre himself, get out of my swamp.