Sibling relationships are built on unconditional love, but they’re also built on a sturdy foundation of ultimatums and meticulous timekeeping. For one long-suffering brother, chauffeuring his older sister around town has become less a gesture of family loyalty and more a recurring role as her personal Uber driver, minus the pay and with a lot more attitude. She doesn’t drive because she claims she doesn’t need it, and yet her ability to schedule rides with all the urgency of a last-minute pizza order is truly impressive.

But the real pleasure in this brother’s situation is that she’s never on time. Not once.