She shouldn’t have to put her dreams on hold for her cousin.

Life can get really expensive if you insist on sending all of your kids to private school. It doesn’t always break the bank to send your kids to private high school for four years, especially when you live in a lower cost-of-living area, you don’t have more than three kids, you’re not paying multiple tuitions at the same time, or your kid received a scholarship. But if you are paying for school from kindergarten to 12th grade for multiple kids while already sinking a considerable chunk of your income into other living expenses, you’re not going to be able to do anything but go to school and hang out at your house, unless you’re really swimming in it. And that doesn’t even begin to factor in the cost of college!

Parents who choose to support their kids through college sometimes do so at the expense of their own financial security. It’s a good rule of thumb to save for retirement before you save for your kid’s higher education, but some parents are willing to live off of ramen noodles and water for four years to ensure that their kid doesn’t go into debt. A family that hasn’t saved enough for college can hypothetically pay for their kid’s public, in-state tuition by scrimping and saving. But if your student’s annual college tuition is more than your salary, you can forget about it. High school students don’t always get to attend the college they want because of their parents’ financial situation. If you get no scholarships from NYU, it’s probably a bad idea to attend if you’re going to leave with six-figures worth of loans. But there are always options regarding financial aid, and a great student can probably get a full ride to a four-year college. It just won’t be their first choice for the school they want to attend.