Given how the media perceives step-parents, it is not surprising that many people struggle with the idea of becoming step-parents to a small child. It can’t be easy to fill someone else’s shoes, especially if the child is less than willing to ‘replace’ their actual parent. It’s a lot of responsibilities, accompanied by stress and pressure to be a good parent and someone your stepkid can count on. And just like any other parents, you’re bound to make mistakes, but the stakes in your case are unfortunately much higher.

One thing you shouldn’t do is to compare yourself to the parent whose shoes you’re attempting to fill. It won’t do you any good, and it definitely will not win you any credit points with your stepkid. You should respect those who came before you, and allow your kid to view those different relationships without comparing them to each other. That is the only way they can form a bond with you without feeling guilty.

The stepmom in the story below did not adhere to these guidelines, and it cost her the relationship with her 18-year-old stepdaughter.