Happy St. Patrick’s Day to all the Irish folk who celebrate (and all the folk who really wish they were Irish). Coming from someone who’s early 100% Irish, this day is for anyone who wants to celebrate Irish heritage. It doesn’t matter if you don’t have the fiery red locks or pinpoint freckles we all love so dearly—so long as you’re celebrating, that’s fine by us!

The leprechaun slander is fun and whatnot, but I urge you to get more creative this year. Did you know that most Irish people have brown hair? We’re pale, but we’re not that pale. Also, Guinness isn’t the only liquid gold we drink! There are endless things to know about Irish heritage, so this year, consider that as you drink your green Guinness and stunt in green and gold. Also, drink responsibly! The Irish do that the best. To end the night, the cherry on top is an Irish goodbye. I’ve taught you well, young one. Now go…