Happy Thursday, friends, lovers, and Internet addicts. It’s only been a few days since we updated you with a bounty of fresh tweets, but we’re back with more. It’s been quite a week on the «Bird App.» I learned about Hobo Johnson, and wish I could get the minutes I spent listening to that garbage back. Somehow, the artist has been trending for nearly a week. Add that to the Andrew Callaghan allegations, gas stove drama, and various forms of rabid rants, and we’re almost ready to deactivate. Just kidding, we’re addicted to the pain of scrolling through the bird app. 

Fortunately for us, and anyone else who is chained to Elon Musk’s rapidly deteriorating machine, there are still people pumping out the humor and stupidity. And that humor and stupidity manage to make the godforsaken app just a little more tolerable. So without further ado, here are some brand spankin’ new tweets for you to scroll, without the agony of some Joe Rogan fan ruining your day.