Greetings, internet users and abusers. It’s hump day which means we should feel a little bit of time-related optimism as we’re supposed to be halfway through the week, or getting over the proverbial hump. Unfortunately, for many of us, time seems to move more slowly the closer we get to Friday, so the respite of the weekend feels like it’s eons away. 

To make this time move more quickly, it’s good to have an array of distractions to get you through the week. For me, it’s been tough because I just finished Shetland, and none of the shows I have tried to watch are filling the moody, Scottish void the series has left in my heart. All I’ve got left is memes, and sometimes, more specifically, tweets. This batch of fresh dispatches from the funny minds of Twitter has got it all: funny anecdotes, self-deprecating admissions, and even a light roasting of Patton Oswalt by his brother. Happy scrolling.