There are lessons you learn in high school, and then there are the ones that come with a $500 price tag and a lifetime ban on inviting freeloaders to hockey games. This unlucky teenager, armed with playoff tickets and the naïve optimism of youth, found himself the unwitting host to a family who saw generosity as an all-you-can-eat buffet. It started with a tap on the shoulder and a not-so-subtle hint that «guests» should be fed, watered, and generally treated like royalty, never mind that the royal budget was stretched thin after a round of stadium hot dogs and sodas.