Mark’s spreadsheet turns every date night and birthday gift into a line item, and suddenly the relationship feels less like romance and more like a quarterly report.

There are different levels of «being good with numbers» (in the being cheap sense), my late grandpa, for example, could tell you the exact sale price of every consumer good he ever purchased: «This jacket? Bought this at Marks & Spencer in ’77. It was £9.99.

which, although we can all agree is a cheap person trait, i always found really cute.’

And unlike my grandfather’s romance with Marks (& Spencer), fiancé Mark’s behavior is anything but cute.