Has this upcoming Independence Day Weekend put you in an existential crisis mode?

It’s America’s 250th birthday, and what a party! It’s the best thing this country knows how to do. The headlines truly make us feel like we’re living our last day every day, so why not party? We won’t get into the specifics since we are just another cog in the capitalistic machine that has this country in a chokehold… But let’s just say the headlines have been giving us the big sad lately. So this 4th of July, go ahead and light a firework strapped to your feet while you’re wearing roller skates, why not?! (Don’t actually… but if you do, send vids.) Chug that questionable red, white, and blue cocktail called «Freedom Rings» or whatever; who needs to remember the night? (Drink responsibly.) Eat as many hot dogs as you can, toddlers eat them, how bad could they be for you? (Tbh, no disclaimer for this one, you do you, tummy aches aren’t on us, just make sure to chew well.) 

If you’re livin’ la vida loca because the USA is making ya cray cray, join the club, and enjoy the memes! That’s the best part of being in a constant state of existential dread, you’re friggin’ funny! So, hold that dear to you and LOL through this Independence Day weekend. Hey, at least we get a long weekend out of it! Unless you work in industries that don’t… LOL Anyway, God Bless memes and therapists, START. YOUR. ENGINES!