She shouldn’t have to be a bigger person compared to two adults.

Many parents expect their teenagers to act more mature than they do. It’s absurd for a grown-up who cannot regulate their own emotions to expect their child, who is in the throes of puberty, to be able to be entirely emotionally mature. It can be difficult to remember how exactly how much puberty affects your emotions and decision-making when you’ve been out of it for so long, but it’s essential for parents to understand that for their teenage kids. Parents shouldn’t have to tolerate terrible behavior, but if they micromanage their kids’ every emotional response, they shouldn’t be surprised if their kid starts to resent them and shut them out. 

When I was in middle school, my theater teacher once told me he was incredibly disappointed in me because I cried during rehearsal, and therefore wasn’t being «professional». I’m still baffled by that critique to this day. In what world is a 14-year-old in a middle school musical supposed to conduct themselves like a professional? I’d venture to say that even children who work professionally in acting should not be expected to act as professionally as the adults around them. Kids deserve a lot of grace when they have big emotions, whether they’re toddlers or seniors in high school. It’s tough when their parents and teachers are not willing to give it to them.