When I was young, polyamorous relationships were extremely uncommon. In 2023, this is becoming less true. While only 4-5% of Americans actually practice polyamory or other forms of non-monogamy, one in six would like to experience this type of relationship. For those who are unaware, polyamory is a relationship in which all partners have relationships with other people, be they emotional, sexual, or both. The growing popularity of polyamorous relationships means we’re seeing more about the style in the media – and that includes TikTok. 

Unfortunately, as is often the case with TikTok, there are a staggering number of cringey videos on this subject from so-called experts. One account in particular, @decolonizelove, has been making waves on Twitter with an instructional video about navigating complicated feelings regarding a partner’s first polyamorous date. The video, to put it bluntly, smacks of gaslighting. Dude seems like, well, a dick. And doesn’t allow much room for his partner’s feelings. Weirdly enough, the woman playing the role of «wife» is the person who runs the account. This hasn’t stopped people from criticizing the video, the misguided advice, and the gaslight-y, misogynistic vibes. As someone who is nowhere near an expert on polyamory, I can’t speak to the usefulness video. But I can definitely say it’s cringe, and it seems the people of Twitter are inclined to agree.