Keep your friends close, your enemies closer, and your family at a safe, non-walkable, preferably different-zip-code distance. But no, someone thought, Hey, let’s buy a duplex and live next door to my brother! Because obviously, the person you couldn’t share a pillow fort with as kids or agree on a TV remote is totally the right candidate for a semi-shared living arrangement featuring driveways, chores, and the occasional pile of passive-aggression.

Living next door to your sibling is less heartwarming family bonding and more a bad sitcom reboot. You’re the exhausted honest character trying to keep things functional while your sibling and their family side-eye everything you do like it’s a plot twist written to annoy them.

It’s like turning the clock back to those childhood weekends when you and your sibling spent way too much time together. You’re both mentally tired before lunch, and the whole afternoon becomes a series of 30 fights about absolutely anything: who gets to sit in the comfy chair, whose turn it is to pick the movie, and whether or not someone promised they’ll hand over that action figure in ten minutes and how much of those minutes have passed.