Have you ever had a brief moment of inner peace and then realized how overly chill you were? Well, as an anxietician, a professional anxious person, you’re obligated to shut that down right away. If your brain starts lulling into a calm state, you MUST start digging up memories of the past that will completely derail that peace. Remember when you screwed up the melody to Hot Crossed Buns in the second grade during the winter performance? Remember your cringey haircut that you got right before picture day during your senior year? Remember when you told the cashier at the grocery store, «You too!» when they told you that the receipt is in the bag? Thaaaaat’s right. Spike your heart rate. Feel the shame and anxiety building once again. Sigh, now you’re back to normal. You’re welcome– this professional anxiety service is brought to you by Anxious Anxieticians Anonymous. 

Like what you see? Check out last week’s batch of stressy messy memes that’ll make you LOL with your therapist.