Kids are smarter than we treat them. If there’s a rancid vibe in the room during Christmas with your extended family, and you, as parents, don’t acknowledge it, the kids will still pick up on it. They will wonder why they have such a terrible time at Grandma’s house, thinking they’re not doing a good job as a family member. Meanwhile, every single person in that room is having a bad time for reasons that are never spoken out loud. It’s much better to be honest with them on the drive home, admit that nobody in the family gels, and that’s just a fact of life. 

It’s one thing to ignore weird vibes once or twice a year with extended family, but if the home is hostile at all times, that’s something that needs to be acknowledged and addressed. Nobody wants to point out the elephant in the room, but when the elephant attacks, you can’t keep ignoring it.