Why would she accept a job that’s so far away?

Co-parenting 50-50 with your ex can be incredibly difficult. First of all, how are you supposed to split the time? Do the kids live at your house one week, and their other parent’s house the next week? Are they moving back and forth between houses every three to four days? Either way, it’s a recipe for your kids living out of a suitcase, and that can be stressful for everyone involved. 

Some parents are hyperfixated on making sure that everything is equal between their house and their ex’s house. The father doesn’t want their kids to dread coming over to his house because he doesn’t have all of the toys that mom has, so he stocks up on toys and games. The mom doesn’t want their kids referring to dad as «the fun parent,» so she makes sure that she takes her kids to as many, if not more, baseball games as he takes them to. This kind of competitive parenting can be stressful for kids because they can tell their parents care more about one-upping their ex than about paying attention to them. 

While competitive parenting can be dysfunctional, it’s at least preferable to a parent who is less than present for their children. I would rather my mom be trying to one-up my dad by getting me ice cream after school than to be forgetting to pick me up from school. Neither is great for the kid long term. 

The dad in this story is just going to work and be a normal parent. But his ex-wife decided to take a job that’s 100 miles away from where they live, which is making their custody agreement extra difficult.